‘Daddy, Watch Me’ Followers!,
After a month and a half of silence, I’m still
here….HEAR! That’s right hear…because I finally feel like my hearing is beginning to arrive (see what I did there, leaving room for a higher ceiling of hearing potential). Nice of you to join Sir Hear, please stay? So, FINALLY!, and it happens just as I am closing in on 4 months after being activated. In my last post I said I was “sidelined”, and now I’m going with I’ve “rebounded”, made the comeback and came back stronger!
Before I get into specifics, I must bring you all up to date. The last time I checked in with you all, I think I showed some obvious frustration, and that’s my fault. My sister read it, and sent me a text, “you seem pissed off”. Well…. that’s because I was, and I
am was a terrible example of a man following through and acting on his word about patience. But, the good news is, I set myself straight before it was too late. From the beginning, I said I must have patience … did I? Not so much… at least for 3 months.
How did I set myself straight?
Firstly, I prayed. I asked God to help provide me with the strength, faith, hope and patience needed to help me overcome my challenges in this journey. I also asked for His leadership and guidance throughout the journey.
Secondly, I committed to speech therapy. Yes, I am my therapist’s FIRST adult patient. Yes, I do child speech games, flashcards, and computer programs with goofy cartoons and rainbows that flash AWESOME JOB every time I get one correct. We all know that I’ll never grow out of my kid side, so this was easy to roll with!
Thirdly, I taped my mouth shut and hid my keyboard. Yup, that’s why I haven’t been blogging to you guys. I knew I couldn’t afford to give myself an opportunity to express any frustration related to my challenges because it would just add fuel to the fire. And, for that tape? For the most part, I didn’t discuss the journey with anyone besides God. I lived my life as if I had no implant. Of course I knew it was there, but I did my best to block it out.
So, why did these changes help my hearing come out of the closet?
For starters, nothing is impossible through God, and I truly believe that. I had to slow down and truly realize that by not worrying about the journey in such a way that I previously did for the first 3 months. This journey is just one of my life’s tests, and I know God has equipped me with the tools to succeed and continue on with His master plan for myself. I had to actually live my life that way and reset my mind to the state that I had no worries about the implant because I knew that I would be taken cared of by Him. It was very relieving to do this. Anyone can say they have full faith in God to take care of them, but how many actually live life with that mind frame, especially during difficult times. It is extremely difficult to control our minds thinking. So, by reminding myself that I will be taken care of by God and truly believing that, this allowed me to focus my attention on other aspects of my life. The energy of my mind was no longer focused on my hearing, or what not I was hearing. This rechanneled energy now opened my mind/brain up to do work on its own in a much more relaxing natural state. I was allowing my brain to do it’s job by itself without me pestering and interfering with implant related thoughts in the back of my mind. This is important because I feel like my brain was not making connections before because I was beating it up too much by constantly thinking of the implant rather than letting it have the freedom of absorbing information naturally. I was overworking my brain in a sense, and now it is free to function to its needs without me constantly poking at it. As for speech therapy, I considered this an obvious tool. There was a reason that this option was presented to me, and I didn’t think for a second about not giving it a shot. I’ve been to 3 sessions now, and I feel that it is working to my advantage as I have improved drastically from session to session. I will try to give you all an example in the near future of what speech therapy is like.
Well, Hmm.. interesting… all that I just wrote…. is it…. could it…be… PATIENCE? To me, that’s one way to look at it, and I’ll take it! Now I feel like a passed a portion of my test by gaining some patience!
When did I realize I was beginning to hear things more clearly?
It took a jobsite visit to a rooftop to really stop myself, evaluate, and soak in what had just occurred. Although lip reading was still involved, I felt like I comprehended a conversation with the roofing supervisor with little repeating. Sounds silly, I know… a simple conversation that most people have multiple times every single day. But, what fascinated me was where it took place, jobsites always prove to be one of the most difficult atmospheres for me to hear. Background sounds such as the wind, automobile traffic, hammering, and whatever other equipment is being operated by crews always interfere.
At home, I began to realize I was beginning to hear some words clearer on the TV while following the closed captions. I could easily tell what words were being said and when they were being said. This is awesome because before it was just a messy noise that sounded NOTHING like actual speech.
I also have been telling my daughter “funny horse stories” at bedtime. You know, like the time the pony took a ride on the lawnmower to Publix for cookies, or the time the Unicorn stole Grandpa’s boat. It will never get old telling her these stories, she gets the biggest laugh out of them, and is a wee bit horse CRAZY. But, what I realized while doing this, is the actual sounds coming out of my mouth while telling the stories. The individual letter sounds forming while I speak, and I was understanding my daughter’s curious story questions in the dim lit bedroom.
So, it remains a work in progress, and the timing is just right. I have so much to be thankful for this holiday season, and this journey is just one of them. So, until next time…. don’t forget that I’m still HEAR!